Satire is impossible in the Rovian Regime: The Onion can't get ahead of the Swift Boat curve.

WaPo: Anti-Kerry Group Is Not Done Yet

The satirical newspaper "The Onion" did a spoof reporting that Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, which harassed Democratic presidential nominee John F. Kerry during the campaign about his Vietnam War record, was continuing its campaign against the defeated Kerry because "John Kerry is a threat to every American he comes in contact with, whether he's running for president, getting his oil changed, or going to a movie with his wife." The Onion proposed two new ads for the group, one accusing Kerry of going bowling in street shoes and the other accusing him of cheating to get his 10th cup free at a coffee shop.

Then something really funny happened: Life imitated satire. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported on Thursday: "The end of the 2004 presidential election campaign doesn't spell the end of Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, the well-funded alliance of former servicemen that remains dedicated to preventing Sen. John Kerry from becoming president. The group . . . plans to convene next month to celebrate its successes and to consider speaking out further about Kerry's military service, his anti-war activities afterward, and other issues."

Meanwhile, the American Conservative Union has announced that it has chosen Sen. Zell Miller, the retiring Georgia Democrat who campaigned for Bush and angrily suggested that Kerry wished to arm American troops with "spitballs," to give a "Courage Under Fire" award to the Swift boat group at its Feb. 18 banquet. And we thought Valentine's Day was Feb. 14.