news @ nature.com -- Black holes 'do not exist' --These mysterious objects are dark-energy stars, physicist claims.
Universal time is required by quantum mechanics, but is denied by general relativity. General relativity says nothing happens at black hole boundaries, but quantum mechanics says very odd things happen.
But what if there are no back holes (and thus no science-defying singularities)? What if dark energy makes black holes impossible (except perhaps for those pion-spittling strong-force black holes we just discovered). Oh wait, pions are just positrons on a different scale (note how many letters they have in common -- that must mean something). And maybe dark-energy stars spit positrons ...
Now I get it!! Yes, it's alll clear nnoooooowwww [hiss of static, then elevator music plays from the radio].
Physics is beginning to remind me of economics.